My Playpark

In my Playpark I'd ride on my Mood Swing...one minute I'd swing to a mood of extreme self pity...the next to a mood of extreme anger...

Then I'd go on the See-Saw...more of the same...one minute I'd be up...the next I'd be down...

After that it would be the Roundabout...all spinning head drunk and dizzily sick...

The Climbing Frame in my Playpark gave me a sense of actually going somewhere for a while...but I soon tired of that also...

I preferred the Sandpit...how easy it was to get high and just bury your head in the sand...

The thought often came to me that I should just leave this Playpark...

Exit stage left.

I'd see others riding the swings in their playparks...couples on the see-saw...folk climbing the social frame...people building castles made of sand...

But not me. Too serious you see ? Way too sensitive and serious to actually partake in anything.

Then one day I looked around at where I was. I mean...I really looked.

Playpark.

Ahhh ! Thought I. They key word in all this is play

And I've been playing ever since !

Once I lived on the lip of insanity...

Wanting to know reasons...

Knocking on a door...

It opened.

I'd been knocking from the inside.

Laughter

Seeing the humour in all things makes me realise that nothing has to be taken seriously...fuck all!...especially myself as I fondly imagine my contents to be...and that everything doesn't matter...need not be...when you can laugh...

Now !!

Most of the times in my life that I have been happy I have never realised that I was happy until after the event and then only in reflection...leading me to realise that the pursuit of happiness is fruitless...and that NOW truly is the happiest time of my life...

Thinking and Idiots

Sometimes whilst listening to a piece of music that moves me...or looking at a picture that I find beautiful...or sitting amid Nature...I am overwhelmed and bewildered...and like a child avidly listening to a story being told...there is no centre as in me listening / looking...just an awareness of the suchness of things...forcing me to realise that when I engage in all this self-talk...I am conversing with an idiot...

Assholes

When you see other people behaving like assholes...you only know that their conduct is asshole like because you recognise it...and when you look in a mirror you only know it's you because you recognise yourself...in order to recognise something you have to know it so therefore we are all assholes...though some of us wipe more frequently...

Flush

You flush the toilet to get rid of your shit...after attending to a personal need...and you can sometimes get flushed and go red in the face when people say something to you that you feel is shit...but the stench is all your all...so don't let anyone pull your chain...

Flowers

If you pick flowers the same way that you would pick your nose...they wither and die quickly...and never smell nice...

Tobacco 'n' Things

I smoke tobacco...I roll my own cigarettes...I have been doing this for years...my favourite cigarette is in the morning...the very first of the day...kick starts the lungs you see ?

Silly people who smoke tailor made cigarettes are often horrified at this...they think that roll-ups are too strong because they have no filter...but tailor made ciggies are full of nasty chemicals and bits of wood and stuff that doesn't belong in tobacco...and it's this that gives you cancer...not tobacco...as the government would like people to believe.

The government of my country are banning cigarette smoking in all bars and restaurants...and pretty soon they'll extend that ban to smoking in all public places methinks.

Apparently the second-hand smoke...or fumes...give people who don't smoke cancer...the government call this passive smoking...luckily for us all...the fumes and toxins emitted from cars and lorries are not a problem...or else they'd ban driving...wouldn't they ?

I was angry at this smoking ban...but the politicians are only thinking of what's best for us...and our prime minister Tony is a nice guy...because the government show lots of adverts on TV telling you about the dangers of smoking...along with handy phone numbers for you to call if you want to quit...I think that perhaps Tony loves us all.

The government also run ads on TV about the dangers of drinking to excess...and eating too much junk food and stuff...so they must care...that's also why Tony invaded Iraq...because that nasty man over there had weapons of mass destruction...and he was a liar and dictator.

No weapons were found...but I am sure that Tony knows what he's doing as he cares deeply for us all...doesn't he ?

I also think that it's only fair that although a smoking ban will apply to us all...in Westminster...where the politicians that passed the anti smoking bill work...they will still be allowed to smoke in the bars and things...after all...they are under a lot of stress trying to keep us all healthy and on the right track.

It's reassuring in this age of cynicism and double standards to know that my government loves it's people.

The Country

Getting bored of the city...I ran down the road until I came to the country...grass and trees and cows and wee birds in abundance...no park was this...but rather...cultivated land...farming land...the countryside.

I frolic'd in the fields...the wind blowing in my hair...whilst cows looked on in idle curiosity...chewing the cud.

" Moo! " said I...and laughed quietly to myself.

Occasionally...I'd huddle the dry stone dyke that ran the length of this field...to better escape the worst of the effects of the fresh air...still allowing myself time to take in the scenery by snatching furtive glances over the wall...

" Isn't nature beautiful " I thought.

When night fell...I ran skipping down country lanes and clambouring over hedges...eager now to be home...where finally I'd assume my position by the fireside...safe against the worst of the effects of the fresh air.

For it's here I sit of an evening...safe within my walls...with my loved ones...each of us in our positions...where we regale each other with tales of the world outside...and descriptions of scenarios we've faced during the day.

Sometimes...prior to drawing the curtains of an evening...above the streetlights haze...a solitary star winks...

My Community

My community is where I live...my house is part of a community...if I look out of the window...I see other houses in my community.

I have an upstairs in my house...as well as a downstairs...though some people don't have an upstairs...they only have a downstairs...except they don't call it that...no stairs you see?...they call it the ground.

So some people in my community live on the ground...whilst others live downstairs and upstairs...though not in both places at once.

I have a garden that I can plant things in...and it has nice flowers and things...even a pear tree and an apple tree...and some grass too...which I've cut and cultivated...I call it a lawn.

Some people in my community have a garden too but choose not to cultivate it...and it is often littered with things that've spilled out of their house...that they either don't want in the house or have no room for.

The people in my community who reside on either side of me are called neighbours...these are people that I see more often...and sometimes we share a word or two...usually about the weather and other neutral subjects.

Because I live in a community in the city...neighbours often come and go...so people tend to keep themselves to themselves.

At night if you go out...sometimes the neighbours have left their curtains open...and you can see them through the window sitting inside in their positions...either downstairs or on the ground...watching TV or talking or both...and you can marvel at their taste in wallpaper and furnishing...but this is a rare thing in my community at night...as curtains are usually drawn.

Nobody causes any bother in my community...and nobody bothers too much with anybody...and if there ever is any bother...and you hear a commotion...it's usually behind not only drawn curtains but closed doors...never on the street.

I think this is called community spirit...all communties have one but some of them are bad.

My house is part of a community spirit...if I look out of my window...I see other houses in my community...and on occasion...a curtain twitched by an unseen hand.